Step 4 - Reflect - Enhancing Stress Awareness

Have you ever been startled when you look at yourself in one of those magnifying mirrors?  Up close, your reflection shows every little wrinkle, every grey hair, even every skin blemish.  There is no hiding from the truth! It was always right in front of you every day, but you've never seen it that clearly before! Maybe it is because you haven't been able to see those things standing in front of an ordinary bathroom mirror each day. Maybe it is because you don't take the time to look closely. It can also be a bit scary to examine ourselves so closely.

The more you practice step four of Self-Reg, the more you see too. Step four is all about enhancing stress awareness.  Each of the Self-Reg steps can happen at any point in time, but I think this step is the most important one.  I keep coming back to step four over and over again because there are certain conditions that can prevent me from truly seeing clearly even when the evidence is right in front of me.

If I am caught in a stress cycle, it isn't possible to do step four.  It is only once the stress has been reduced and I'm feeling more relaxed that I am able to be more self-aware.  Over the past few years, I have been able to recognize which stressors I need to reduce each day.  I am getting better at stress-detecting. I  try to take action before I crash.  Even if it takes a crash to help me identify my stressors, I try not to beat myself up. I'm learning to take mental note of what led me to that state.

When I'm talking with students, I call stressors energy zappers.  Some stressors seem small and insignificant until you add up all the little energy zappers and see how quickly you become drained. It reminds me of my bank account and all the little charges that added together are a significant drain on my financial position!

If I pay attention to the little energy zappers and reduce or eliminate them, I will have energy left for step four. Here is how I reduce my stress during the day in order to enhance my stress awareness:

• I eat a healthier breakfast each morning.
• I don't listen to the radio on my drive to or from school - I listen to my favorite playlist.
• I try to drink lots of water during the day and carry my water bottle with me.
• I watch to see that I have walked at least 10 000 steps each day.
• I try to go outside a few times each day.
• I find time to be alone several times during the school day.
• I chew gum on my half-hour drive home instead of eating unhealthy snacks.

Paying closer attention to my energy-tension state at different points in the day has really helped me be more stress aware. I also know how good it feels to relax and build my energy reserves. For many years, I have known how much I love the quiet and being alone.  I know that those two conditions are good ways for me to restore my energy. Paying closer attention to how my body is feeling during times of calm has helped me know what I need.  I'm starting to predict the times where there will be significant energy zappers during my day.  I try to adjust my day to find time to restore my energy, even in little ways because these add up too, over the course of a day.

One Self-Reg tool that may be helpful to track your energy-tension states is the Thayer Matrix. Another helpful tool is the Energy-Tension Reflection Journal.  It can help you analyze your different states and reframe them in order to see your individual stressors.  

My body is telling me there is more stress detective work to be done. The reason I know this is because I don't sleep well.  I have trouble going to sleep and staying asleep each night. There is no hiding from the truth, but there is hope that I will get to the root cause if I keep working on each of the steps of Self-Reg.